Kinsey Confidential: The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service

 

If you think you might be transgender
If you have a friend who is or might be transgender
If your significant other identifies as transgender

 

If you think you might be transgender:

You may feel confused and unsure of where to look for information or unsure of with whom might be a good person to talk. It is important to be honest with yourself and examine your feelings, as well to seek help through friends, family, counseling, support groups, or on-line chat rooms and discussion communities. Many informative websites are present on the internet (see the links section of this webpage) and there are a large number of books, magazines, and other sources that can help you decide how you feel and which life path is best for you. If you feel comfortable enough talking to other people in person, you might try contacting a local GLBT center or your community's PFLAG chapter and asking them whether there is a transgender support group in your area. The most important things to remember are that you are not alone in your feelings, and that there is nothing wrong with the way you feel. There are thousands of others who have questioned or are questioning their gender, and many of these individuals are available in your community or online to offer you advice and support.

If you have a friend who is or might be transgender:

You may be feeling hurt, confused, angry, sad, unsure, or upset. These are all normal responses to have when someone first finds out their friend identifies as transgender. And you can continue to have these feelings, but it is also important to remember that right now, your friend needs your support. Another important thing to remember is that just because your friend now identifies as transgender or gender variant, your friend is not a different person than they were before. Dealing with transgender issues can be confusing and stressful and your friend will need a lot of comfort and support. Many online resources exist which can aid you in understanding what your friend is going through and what you can do to help them along the way. Above all, try your best to be supportive, ask constructive questions, and try to learn as much as you can. You may want to ask them which pronouns they would prefer you use, and if they will be changing their first name. Remember than preferred pronouns and names may change often while someone decides what is right for them, so try and be patient and respect your friend's wishes. These simple signs of support can mean a great deal to someone dealing with major decisions about their life and their gender.

If your significant other identifies as transgender:

There are several support groups that can help you deal with a crossdressing male spouse, a transsexual/transgender spouse, or a transgender-identified girlfriend/boyfriend. You might seek out a marriage counselor or other therapist, or you might search for support groups for children of transpeople, partners of transpeople, or parents of transgender youth. You may wish to contact the local PFLAG chapter in order to find support. As is mentioned above, your significant other's choice to disclose their transgender feelings is a symbol of trust and commitment. Though you may be feeling a range of emotions, your partner will need a lot of love and support to help them through this difficult time. Try your best to listen to your significant other's needs, or if you are unsure, ask him/her what you can do for them. Above all else, remember that you are not alone. Many other people have gone through what you are going through right now. It is okay to feel angry, disgusted, or sad; those are natural emotions to feel.