Q&A: Is is Possible to Delay Orgasm with Pills or Techniques?
QUESTION: My girlfriend achieves orgasm very quickly (within 30 seconds). Is it possible to delay the orgasm with pills or any other techniques?
ANSWER: Men, far more often than women, find that they orgasm more quickly than they would like; as a result, we have more research and anecdotes related to techniques and medications that work to help men delay their ejaculation, and little science-based information about effective techniques for helping women to delay their experience of orgasm.
Although some medications (such as certain anti-depressants) are occasionally prescribed for men to delay their ejaculation they are not really considered a “first line” treatment or men as often couples would like to find non-medical means of improving their sexuality (and anti-depressants, like most medications, can cause negative side effects). It is unclear if women would be helped by using anti-depressants or other medications in this way, though a common side effect of antidepressants (especially those impacting the serotonin neurotransmitters, is delayed orgasm.
If your girlfriend wants to be sexual for some time without having an orgasm, you two might consider exploring a range of sexual behaviors that typically don’t make her orgasm quickly. For example, you might spend more time kissing, touching her breasts or performing oral sex (on her, having her perform it on you, or doing it mutually) in ways that are enjoyable but are perhaps not likely to induce an orgasm right away.
Do consider talking to your girlfriend about your sexual experiences together. Is an early orgasm a problem for her? What bothers her about having an orgasm soon after beginning sex? Does she become too sensitive to continue with sex, does she feel too tired to go on, does it hurt or get a headaches after she has an orgasm, or are there other reasons why she wants to be able to delay her orgasm? If you two can talk more about this and find out what it is that troubles her (if anything), then perhaps you can work around it. On the other hand, if it is you that is troubled by her early orgasm, then that too is something to pay attention to. Why does her orgasm speed bother you? Does it have to? Perhaps you can learn to appreciate the responsiveness of your girlfriend’s body and to explore each other’s bodies in ways that are about pleasure, and not just timing of orgasm. You may find that you like and enjoy her sexual response, and you two may come to enjoy exploring a wider range of ways of being sexual together.
Originally published March 19, 2008
Kinsey Confidential
