Q&A: My Partner is Obsessed with My Breasts!
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QUESTION: My partner is obsessed with my breasts! Though I enjoy the attention, how can I get him to explore other parts of my body?
ANSWER: Sometimes, when it comes to sexual activity, people go for the obvious areas to focus on. Breasts are loaded with sex appeal in our culture and, as such, they are often a point of focus for many women’s partners. Some women are happy about this. After all, a woman’s breasts can be quite sensitive to touch, especially during sexual excitement and arousal, so attention to the breasts can feel good. That said, most of us tend to crave variety, too, and too much attention anywhere may feel boring or even annoying. You can use both non-verbal and verbal communication to let your partner know what that you’d like to explore other areas of your body. An example of non-verbal communication would be to gently nudge your partner’s hand or mouth away from your breast and closer to somewhere you would like to be touched. This is a subtle, gentle way of sharing your wants and needs, without making your partner feel like he is boring or not a good lover. An example of verbal communication might be to say, “touch me here” while moving his hand. You can even talk about your sexual play at a time when you are not in the midst of being sexual and when you know that won’t be interrupted. You can open up a conversation about your sex life together, making sure to praise him for all the things you enjoy, and say that although you enjoy breast touching, what you would really like is more variety, and a little bit more of X, Y or Z – whatever those things may be.
Everyone is different in terms of their likes, dislikes, and sensitive, pleasurable spots – all of which can all change over time. You might suggest an all-over exploration of each other’s bodies using different types of touch or stimulation to learn what you both enjoy. Don’t be shy; you never know what you might find!
Dr. Debby Herbenick
